A peep in my personal diary…
A personal diary is suppose to be personal, but today I wish to reveal few of my random immature thoughts since last 2 to 3 years, which were written during my frustration phase, when my ability to stick on one single profession & deciding to make it a full fledge career option was unclear and unfocused.
When I look back in my diary, it clearly resonates with my newly discovered multi passionate personality, which literally refrained me from sticking to one particular field.
Here’s a peep into my unclear struggling thoughts..
01-01-2016
Flood of incomplete thoughts running through my mind dying to pen down what is this happening to my mind. All of sudden I find myself blank to write down all that I had planned. Why am I born with such a confused set of goals. It was an instant new year resolution to come up with this idea or may be impulsive passion to start writing…
02-01-2016
Not just the new year instant resolution, but the view of study table with night lamp, had such a hypnotizing impact on my mind, that my fingers are tingling desperately to write down something I wish to write. Now I realize what a great visual impact movies n serials have on our delicate minds, though it is absolutely futile to give credit to the visual entertainment to make me start writing. I guess the writer inside me is also vulnerable n desperate too, to spread my train of thoughts superfast, like a jam on a bread.
09-4-2016
Just bored and lazed out, still unfocused about my goals. I guess I might as well spent time being the perfect mother first. Though I miss my old times & independency, my little bird has hypnotized all of me. Still struggling to get perfect balance of it all.
Undated – 2016
Evenings remind me of the perfect tea time & reason to chat up, it just energizes my spirit. A crispy piece of local rusk popularly known as ‘khari’ in maharashtra, would be like cherry 🍒 on the cake 🎂. They are just made for each other.
Time is passing & my questions are just getting much hungrier to get all the answers they wish to know since long. But I guess still not the right time. Or is it my trapped mind?
Undated- 2017
Just as any other day, on my way to write all the stuff which is obviously unnecessary, but I gotta be persistent with the practice. Trapped again in the lull period of what to do next, worried about the outcome of the little efforts that I have started making. Let me be frank, I have demoralized myself in my mind, thinking from where I am starting a new profession, people in this or any other profession have already gone way too far. Where am I going to land? OK enough of jealousy & putting myself down. I have chose this path and I will still try to unfold all strategies for my successful career in blog writing.
02-07-2017 (Before shifting to pune)
Though I always prefer a space with bright sunlight inside,Today for the first time I was fascinated by the closed curtain look which thoroughly comforted my senses through the mild sunlight passing through the intricate design of the curtains. That makes me realize how badly I am going to miss this house in Lucknow. Yes, I have spend bitter, sweet memories here with my unsettled mind, but there is something really graceful about this house that keeps illuminating positive vibe from all corners of the house…
Undated- 2019 (Pune) after starting my blog journey.
Totally a jumping jack at the moment. Not able to settle on any topics I want to read or research. I have always found it irritating to focus on one topic for a long stretch. I just feel it kind of hampers my productivity. I am like that honeybee 🐝 who wants to suck the juices from all flowers, not just one. That is also a reason why I choose to be a lifestyle blogger. I find this lack of focus irritating too but thats the way I am. But I try to put my heart ♥ & soul for whatever topics I love enjoying & reading.
I m so thankful to discover this uncoventional identity later in my life. I guess someone up there was really listening to my ramblings of soul and helping me express those suppressed thoughts through writing. Which helped me pursue all my Multi-Passions under one roof and giving it a respectful identity till we prove ourselves.
” My personal diary is a reflection of my undiscovered passions scattered in word puzzles”
Makes me want to read more. Passion and the urge to have a presence in multiple fields should never cease to exist. I’m working on something similar, Do let me know if you would like to work on it with me! (A secret, it’s a letter)
Thanks for ur comments Kalyan. I wouldn’t mind if time permits.Sounds interesting. Do let me know how to go about it.
Sure, will drop you a mail. You’re welcome 🙂